Core Wounds

Below are the four most common core wounds and the core beliefs that are often born from them.

• Abandonment (“There’s something wrong with me,” “I’m unlovable,” “I am unimportant”)

• Betrayal (“I am unworthy,” “I am hopeless,” “I am a failure”)

• Physical/Sexual/Mental/Emotional abuse (“I am ugly,” “I deserve only bad things,” “I’m not in control,” “I am weak,” “I am always unsafe,” “I deserve to be punished”)

• Rejection (“I am shameful,” “I am a bad person,” “I don’t deserve love,” “I have to be perfect,” “I will never belong”)

  Is a core wound manifesting itself in your life? Here are some possible ways:

  1. You enter relationships in the hopes of finding what you lack (i.e., you want to “feel complete”).

  2. You often feel inadequate, and you often have thoughts or feelings such as: “I am not enough,” “I am unlovable,” “I don’t count,” “I am imperfect,” “I am powerless,”

  3. You feel a sense of abandonment, resentment, or betrayal from others.

  4. You have a perfectionistic attitude towards life (i.e., you gain your self-esteem from the outcome of your actions instead of the intention behind your actions).

  5. You suffer from chronic anxiety that comes as a result of anticipating the emotional pain of being found unworthy.

  6. You repeat the same mistakes in relationships because you’re stuck in negative unconscious programming.

  7. You behave in dishonest and inauthentic ways that are not true to the person you really are. You behave in this way to gain the acceptance of others.

  8. You often feel emotionally numb inside. You feel a sense of meaninglessness and disconnection from the world around you. In a sense, this is the ultimate defense mechanism: to feel nothing.

  9. You are your own worst critic (i.e., you constantly remind yourself how much of a “loser” or a “failure” you are).

  10. You feel like an outcast, and you can never quite fit in with anyone. Instead of appreciating your uniqueness and seeing it as an opportunity, you see it as a curse.