In the beginning

I expected to be asked, “Why did you go home? Why did you give up your independence and everything you’d built just to take ten steps back?”

My response shocked even me. Here it is:

I spent most of my life running. I moved 24 times before I was 24 years old. The first time I spent a year in a home, I was living in my own one bedroom apartment. I made it 368 days.

When I left home at 17 years old, I was running from my demons when my peers were running toward their futures.

In what I call the “after” those demons are in the light. We’re friends now. I sought them out in the shadows, shed light on their weeping faces and torn clothing. I’m no longer scared of them. In fact, I lean into them and the behaviors they used to illicit so I can learn more about “before” me. I know who I was when they were in the dark and I will never be her again.

I went home because I know now home wasn’t an enemy to flee. Finding my way back to my true self was a journey to be undertaken.