The Worst Part of Goodbye

Knowing I am an intellectual, healed person I can look at a goodbye in many different ways. I can come to different conclusions regarding endings. I can find the silver lining quickly and move on emotionally. I wasn't always this way and I'm eternally thankful for my journey***

I have learned that we cannot take words said in passion or anger to heart. Endings are often not about us if we are healed and tried our best. Though they are unfortunate most of the time, its much easier to cope when you remain detached from the outcome.

All of this is easy to digest and spill again in fancy language. But what can the human heart relate to all of this? Once we've said goodbye, no matter how healed I've become, no matter how detached from the outcome I am and no matter how much I attempt to intellectualize the issues... I will always I have more to say. I will always want that person to know they weren't hard to love. Or how much I adored the wrinkles that appeared in the corners of their eyes when they belly laughed. Or that they didn't deserve what their father said to them on Christmas. I ALWAYS wish I had said more or loved them harder. Not in the hopes that they had stayed or that if I'd said these things that perhaps my feelings would've been deeper for them... but in the hopes that maybe, just maybe they'd know they were truly cared for.